Maybe

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Since it’s obvious to even me 0_o that I am now a fully fledged short timer and I found it quite therapeutic to actually put my “mask wearing” observations in text form I thought I would put some stuff here for friends and family or not. To start, if I follow standard procedures I am required to consume 3 meals a day from various food groups. Am I not? My Translation 3 times per day something else dies in order for me to have life. What is lacking in our world is the RESPECT that should come with this knowledge. So from the very start, I am against this existence in fact I despise it despite it’s beauty. My life did not start out like this though, it was not till much later that I came to realize that such an existence makes no sense to me unless it is a construct of a self sustaining nature. Which some refer to with the Ouroboros. And how much all humans discount the very hair on their body’s as send/receive antennae, and that the Aura is an actual body part, or that which some call the crown shakra is actually a wireless attachment point. (Have a soul do you, or that part of you which actually resides somewhere else? can you say remote control?)

Then there is the child issue, every child is looking for something special and most of that can be considered individual. But EVERY child is looking for acceptance from the others they have to interact with, and this NEEDS TO BE guided a LOT more than it is. If I could transfer my experience to you for say from 5 years to 15 years old ….. you would HATE ME FOREVER. Nuff said? Never ever use baby talk, you are understood where they have not the motor skills to speak their mind back to you. NEVER underestimate the comprehension level of an infant! It is always better to show why, than say no.

I have had only a one track mind since before I can remember, FLY, DRIVE, OPERATE . I COULD NOT stop myself, and I did NOT WANT TO. I was doing things like drag racing on the Lynnway at 10. I HAD to take stuff apart and see how it worked, I had NO ordinary feelings of the dangers most people experience. If the ball went on the roof, I got it. If the plane got stuck on the cliff I climbed up and got it. One day for instance, we had a family vacation in NY somewhere. And it was a big rec facility and a really large swimming arrangement which included a 30 meter or so Olympic diving platform. I think I was somewhere between 7 and 10. Kid says to mother, “mom, can I go off the diving board?” “oh sure” says mom as she is busy and does not realize the severity of the matter. Only to turn and see me coming down….LOL! All of these were met as you might expect by frightened cries from parents or guardians berating the child for being that way. What way? LOL!? Most fright pranks wont work with me, UNLESS they are accompanied by a GOD AWFUL amount of noise. (Have had several near misses over the years with say stuff like a pallet falling from a third tier, and the like. So yeah I jump at that now…LOL)

One thing I have only talked about with I think my Sister Lauren was during a certain time period of my life, I could not be found at home at night. Because my eyes were filled with wonder, as were my ears. But to say anything back then, well lets just say I was ALREADY considered, different and realized well what that meant. There was ONLY one thing that held me in actual terror. Mom wanted some free time to shop, so when the sisters went to ballet I had to go too. ONLY male there, had to do EVERY male role for my age group. IF that word ever made the press, where I was already ducking the bullies to and from anywhere. It would have been the END of my social world LITERALLY. I grew up with the boys don’t cry crew/era, are you kidding? My life would have been literally MURDER. As I came close to it more than once without such additions. Not to mention there were already several murderers in our town already. Like that one poor kid that was beaten to death on the train tracks coming home from the mall with Christmas presents. Yes childhood was THAT serious, I think we all knew or suspected …. but no one dared say.

The woods and hills of my home were alive with light and sound in ways that are not available to me any more. In fact it all went away at about 18. It was like being in the avatar movie, only not so technicolor more of a pale golden …. haze. There is a place not far from the old girl scout lodge, a rock formation that holds water at almost al times. Usually so full of frog spawn and plant life that most don’t even notice. But where I expected many sounds of breathing I heard only one. Deep n long, and so very, peaceful. I felt so at home there.

I am the night!

What you call darkness is where ALL color resides, Light has NO color. It but reflects that which is within something else. If there is nothing to reflect then the darkness consumes it. This is my observation.

Animals, I can not go to a Zoo. I get upset, I just want to let everything out. Last time I went, was San Diego zoo long ago. I was walking through and there were monkeys, a lot of them, in what I thought was all to small of a containment. It was designed only for display if you ask me, not much to do with comfort. The small crowd was ooing and guffawing as they gave them the finger and the monkeys would return it. Imagine my reaction as I walk by and several of them instead of giving me the finger are reaching out the hands and yelling at me. I know what they want, and they know I can hear them and when I turned away, all hell broke loose in that cage. I have not ever been back to a zoo since. Too even see a creature like a horse that spends most of its life in a 20 *20 box, to know that it’s VERY NATURE is to RUN and to MOVE. To know that humans keep them this way …. just to be ridden for pleasure, at their pleasure. Is just not in me. I don’t keep pets, I have family members. As such, THEY eat first, THEIR needs are tended to first. In the time that is now, everyone’s interested in their “identity” well, if you want to play that game. I would identify as BEORN that you would know from Tolkien with this one particular line in mind. “I don’t like Humans, they are greedy, and blind. Blind to the lives they deem lesser than their own.